23 and young
23 and young but wasting away, not so literally but more figuratively in an unresponsive pause of growing young. thoughts of nothing run through my mind other then trying to find that base that stone that foot hole in the mountain i am so anxiously waiting to climb called life! ready to settle and begin but no path to follow, under my feet is no road i have chosen, and in front of me is a vast visual cloud containing nothing. wishing there was a monopoly "start here" square somewhere so i would be able to at least to get started. I have all the ambition in the world but nowhere to express that sense of positiveness or eagerness to learn. extending my hand but making a complete fist due to the lack of anything in my hand in which i seek aid! FUCKKKKKK, soooooo tired and thats when i write wierd ish like this! 5am happy turkey day goodnight! i just want my CAREER already ... :(

Undercover Blogger

I'm Backkkkkkkkkk....
Now it has been a long time since the slightest thought to bring my fingers to a keyboard and BLOG has come across my mind, but i think its about that time to recharge and try to reinvent myself through the sake of blogging. Much has happened since my last post, which i honestly cant remember what was, either the one of a random poem to a "friend" or an extremely poorly written blurb due to the lack of sleep. In that time i really cant say that I've discovered myself any more then i should have. I have come to realize a few things about myself that I am not to proud of.
I think it is utterly IMPOSSIBLE for me to ever be truly happy. For me to be "happy", whatever that means, I have to make everyone around me happy and we all know that's damn near impossible!!!! I love to make others smile even if the result of my actions leads to me not smiling. Now dont get me wrong, I'm no Jesus, i do have my selfish moments as we all do, but after my actions are done, i feel like ISH. I am kind of glad that i was able to realize this about myself because maybe I would be able to do things about it, like just completelty not giving a FUCK. thats a start. I am not bitter at all or even angry, but some things in my life are going to have to change if need to be able to SEE the changes in my life. That means ties will have to be cut, some bridges broken, but others created.
Just like the title of my blog i have yet to find the right road to choose in my life. As far as my careere i know EXACTLY where i want to be. (Law Enforcement, Ohhhh YEahhhHH) But another facet of my life is i have definitely been up TOO many roads. (Make of that what u wish ;-) ) I think very soon i am going to find a road and chill on that course for a while. Hey, u can never complain about a bumpy ride...
Ok, so i havent fully caught you up on what has been up with me but i promise i will get back to you, all none of you. THis is just me trying to start back up, dont judge...cuz u dont know how hard someone can be judging you...

- Work like you dont need money-
-Love like youve never been hurt-
-And Live like its ur Last-


-Duces!